You will fall in love
with someone who is
not me and no matter
how much it hurts
I will be happy for you.
I will have hope that
this time things will
work out for you and
that this time your love
will not be taken for
granted. So when you
fall in love with someone
who is not me, I will
be happy for you. Even
though my heart knows
that I would be much
happier with you.
I know that I’m hard to love. Some days I’m all smiles and affection and then other days there’s nothing I want more than to be quiet and lie in bed.
Sometimes I get angry about stupid things and won’t want to talk to you. Other days I’ll think that you’re the most perfect person in the world.
Please don’t give up on me. I know it’s not easy but I’ll always come back to you."
—Letters to the next (I hope you try)
I think it’s happening again. I’ve been saying I want to hit rock bottom again to get back up but I feel like there is already too much going on…
I’ve been having trouble sleeping since my mom left to the Philippines and barely getting any rest is slowly getting to me. It’s hard to show or even say how I feel. I’m running out of people to vent to, I feel like I’m just going to look for attention. But it’s hard for me to even worry about myself, I feel like I don’t have time to fall apart.
I need him at moments like these and it kills me that I can’t. It hurts so fucking bad. I feel so at ease when I’m with him and when we part, I slowly weaken. I just want to hear his voice or just be wrapped in his arms for comfort. I miss being able to just let it all out whenever I needed to and he’d wipe my tears and hold me till I was alright. It hurts so much….
I’ll stay strong for myself and my mom. I’ll keep my head up for him and my fam.
I feel like I’ve forgotten what true solitude is like.
It’s getting to me…
GOOD DAY GOOD DAY.
Slowly, very slowly, counting my days before I leave. I’m gonna miss him tons again and get home sick and jet lagged. The next journey awaits me, but I’m hoping I’ll become a brand new, more refreshing person when I get back.
Let’s hope for the best.
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This is pretty interesting. I’d try it out if I was offered but not if i had to, but no thanks either haha.